The Selfie of Dorian Gray
When they found him, they couldn’t believe it.
He was slumped to one side, clutching a tablet.
His last selfie, posted the day before,
showed a slim man with smooth, clear skin.
The caption read, “Lost 20 pounds and never felt better!”
A string of atta boy-s followed in the comments.
The man in front of them (being upwards of 400 pounds)
filled the love seat he occupied and had copious wrinkles.
One of the cops said he looked like a dead Shar Pei.
The forensic techs found the tablet wasn’t password protected.
When they got in, they found a note:
“As I type this, I am of sound mind.
Last month, I resolved all my family dysfunctions
by posting a picture of us smiling.
I have left a fortune in cryptocurrency to those in my SIM game.
“I always wanted to be a main character when I grew up.
Main characters know what they’re doing.
The rules don’t apply to them, and they get the girl.
That hasn’t happened, though thousands of thumbs have worshiped me.
God forgive me, but I have decided to step off a ledge in SIM
and fall to my game over.”
Interviews revealed the man’s family hadn’t seen him in years.
They said he asked each of them to send their avatar images to him.
The picture mentioned in his note digitally combined the smiling avatars
of the man and his family members.
The medical examiner could not determine the cause of death.
Published by mrteague
Teague McKamey lives in Washington state with his wife and two children. Teague’s poetry has appeared in several journals and in self-published books. He blogs at thevoiceofone.org and awanderingminstrel.com. In all areas of life, Teague desires that Christ may be magnified in his body (Php. 1:20).
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